Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Randomize
