The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
