i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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