Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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