i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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