its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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