wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I just gargled with NyQuil
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
