so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
