I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
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Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
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Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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