Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
