I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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