I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
