Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
