so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Randomize
