Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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