The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Sorry about my life...
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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