It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
