im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
