why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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