And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
