sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
