she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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