No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
