So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
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