you mean i was at the winter classic?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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