somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
as a side note pls kill me
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