I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
