TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
