My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
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