Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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