I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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