i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
