hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
