you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
We had to coat check the pizza.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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