i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
