We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize
