Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
