? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
