Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
