and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
