Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Randomize
