We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
