D3 body, D1 cock
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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