Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
