why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
