a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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