i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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