Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
she smelled like a LAN party
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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