Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
