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Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
