Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
