therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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