You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Randomize
