would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You're a waste of cheezeits
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
