I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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