Is it normal to miss your booty call?
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
