im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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