Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
