I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize