So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize