I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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