is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
