i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
